Ok so I think I’ve said “I’m back” like 50 gagillion times since C’s birth.
This is my week. This is my month. This is my day.
Nope. Nada. Not happening.
I haven’t quite figured out how to take care of a baby and myself at the same time…some days it’s all I can do just to shower and get dressed (and by get dressed I mean put my yoga pants back on).
That all changed this week, as my maternity leave came to a screeching halt and I went back to work yesterday full time (insert ugly cry face here).
It is SO hard to leave her. SO HARD. Forget spending time to exercise right now, when I’m home, all I want to do is hold and cuddle her.
Last night was a mess, she was so tired from not having slept all day that she screamed and cried before falling asleep in my arms. Think I was about to put her down after not seeing her all day? Hell no. My husband ordered us dinner and I held my little girl until it was time to put her down for the night.
I know this will get easier with each day, but man does it suck. Today was a little better than yesterday. I’m sure tomorrow will be a little better too. We’ll get there, but for now, this mama is so sad to be away from her little girl for so long each day! On the bright side, I’m working 4 days a week to start with, so at least my time home with her will be a little more balanced than if I was working a full 5 day work week. I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got, so I’m trying not to be so hard on myself for not being 100% with my diet and exercise right now while we settle into our new routine. For now, I'm just giving myself some grace.
I started back on the couch to 5k program last week, and did pretty good with it, but I haven’t hit the treadmill since last Friday, and if I’m being honest it might not happen again until this Friday when I have another day off.
I’ve been struggling with my eating, but I’ve recently discovered what I think is a dairy sensitivity in Clara, so that means no more dairy for me while I’m breastfeeding. Besides the obvious misses like ice cream and cheese, there’s diary in freaking EVERYTHING, including sliced bread. This presents a bit of a challenge, but I think that going back to the 21 day fix and clean eating will actually help this quite a bit, so that’s my plan, but I’m giving myself another week of being back to work before I go all in.
April 13th is my official 21 day fix start date. Until then, I’m going to make my best effort to survive being back to work with a baby in daycare. If I can eat healthy and exercise during this transition that’s just an added bonus.....