Dec 20, 2013

Moderation

Moderation is something I just can’t seem to do.
I can’t control myself around things I know are “bad” for me.
I never have just one cookie.
I can’t stop eating an open bag of popcorn (or chips) until the bag is empty.
If there’s pizza, I won’t stop eating until it’s gone.
Even when my stomach hurts.  Even when I know I’m not hungry anymore.  Even when I’m totally and utterly full, having a dish of m&ms in front of me pretty much guarantees I’m going to eat some (scratch that…eat them ALL).

 
 
I have had this problem forever, and it’s one I can’t seem to shake.
I’m addicted to food….bad food that is (I don’t seem to run into this problem with broccoli). 
Alcoholics can’t have just one drink, or they’ll go off the deep end and re-kindle their problem.  I'm not trying to trivialize that issue, it's a serious one...and I think I am the same way with junk food.  I’m ok as long as I don’t give in and have a bite, because once I have that first bite, I can’t stop myself until the temptation is gone.  I always have the mentality too, that if I “just finish the bag and get it out of the house it won’t be there tomorrow to tempt me”.  Obviously this is not working.

People say that moderation is the key to longevity when it comes to dieting. 
I can’t do moderation. 
I’m not sure if I ever will be able to.  I have one bad food, and I keep going for the whole day….that day turns into a week, and that week has turned into a full month before I know it.  I’m not going to shame myself for this.  I’m actually sort of proud of myself for being so aware at this point in my journey that I’m now realizing what my triggers are.  I'm starting to think that I may suffer from a binge eating disorder, but that's a whole other post for a whole other day.

I can’t have peanut butter in the house anymore…if there’s something to dip into it or spread it on, I’ll eat the whole jar if I’m not careful.

I can’t bring treats into my house, I binge on the whole package at once.

If you keep treats outside of your home, it’s a lot easier to resist them.  This time of year is so difficult because what I can’t control is the treats in the office, or the packages of cookies my clients send to me, or the chocolate candies my husband brought home from his job.

 I will not stress about it, but I will acknowledge this issue, and I will be more diligent about it in the New Year.

Give yourself some Grace people, it’s all you can do.

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