Mar 20, 2014

Someday I'll...

Someday I’ll hit my goal weight.
Someday I’ll wear a size 6.
Someday I’ll rock a bikini.
Someday I’ll be proud of my body.

We all have these grand ideas of what we’ll do or look like when “we get there”.  That elusive point in time, when we've reached all of our goals and we’re overly happy with our body and proud of everything we've accomplished.

But why do we have to wait until that exact moment in time to be proud of what we've done?
Why SHOULDN'T we rock a bikini now, knowing that we’re so much closer to our goals now than we were a few months or even years ago?

Why SHOULDN'T we celebrate the milestones along the way, like running faster, lifting heavier, or losing inches instead of pounds? Why do we focus on what we still have left to do, as opposed to how far we've come?

It’s such a difficult thing, and a hard line to walk.  To be proud of your accomplishments, but not to the point of complacency.  To know that you still have work to do, but to be happy with the changes you’re seeing in your body along the way.  To accept that your body isn't perfect, and possibly never will be, but that you can still push it harder to see what you can do with it.

I’m not at my goal weight yet.  I have cellulite and stretchmarks, and my body is FAR from perfect. 
But this body ran 3 half marathons.
This body lost over 50 pounds.
This body keeps going, even with an autoimmune disease that has debilitated so many others.
This body has been tested and pushed to the point of soreness more times than I can count, and while it’s not perfect, I’m thankful for this body I have, even if I don’t quite love everything about it at this point in time.

One of the things I've ALWAYS wanted to be able to do is to work out in just a sports bra – no tank top or t-shirt.  I used to see those girls at the gym, or running on my street and say “whatever, a BRA ISN’T A SHIRT, put some clothes on!” …and don’t get me started on the workout videos and all the super fit women showing off their abs!  But really, I was secretly envious of the fact that they had the body to do that with confidence..that they had the CONFIDENCE period.  I would be too self-conscious to do this myself..too worried about what everyone else thought about me while constantly criticizing and second guessing myself.  But now when I work-out in the privacy of my own home, in my basement where no one else can see me, I do it in just a sports bra.  I don’t know that I have the confidence built up just yet to go for a run like this, but I’m working on it. 
Baby steps people.
I’m putting go for a run in my sports bra on my goals list for the summer…regardless of my weight, I want to have confidence and learn to love my body, and this will force the issue for me.  

So tell me, what are you celebrating today, and what goal do you have in mind for this summer?  Leave a comment and let me know!

Side bar, special thanks to my sister for inspiring this post, and I’m so proud of you for what you've accomplished in the past 7 months! J

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